Laughter Road

Sunday, June 05, 2005

My lap bar seems to be malfunctioning...

I spent Saturday at Paramount Kings Island with friends. We were single-minded; going to ride roller coasters, not spending any more money than was absolutely necessary. We cound't avoid one meal in the park, though, and all had to promise to give them our first-born children in exchange for liquid and bad pizza.

We had a fantastic time, though. Rode about 8 different coasters, some of them twice. I'm paying the price today, though; I feel like I lifted weights for hours and hours, and my voice has disappeared from all the screaming.

Though I ride them willingly, I have issues with coasters. They mainly center around these morbid fantasies I begin to conjure up as soon as I fasten my harness or pull in the lap bar. What if my lap bar doesn't catch properly and comes loose? What if the coaster gets stuck halfway around the loop-the-loop? What if that kid in front of me vomits and it flies back and hits me in the face?
I think a lot of these fantasies stem from the fact that my parents would never let me or my brother ride the Ferris Wheel at the annual Memphis State Fair, and told us horror stories about it coming loose, collapsing into itself, or getting stuck and stranding people at the top for hours and hours. I'm sure they meant well, but hearing these stories usually made me see it as a giant wheel of death istead of just a carnival ride.

Obviously, I've gotten over it. Kinda.


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