still learning.

Do you ever have those moments when you run into someone you used to know, but with whom you have had no contact for a number of years, and for a split-second, your entire relationship-- every stupid thing you did, or every mean thing they did, or every malicious moment that passed between the two of you--all of those things flash through your memory, and you seriously consider ducking behind a door or into the next supermarket aisle so you won't have to talk to them?

I had two of those moments this week. Both turned out fine. Better than fine. They laughed at my jokes, we talked about jobs, i admired babies and fielded the inevitable questions (nope, I don't have kids. or a husband. I have degrees instead. )

Can I learn a lesson from this? Certainly...and here's what I think it is: we remember our embarassing behavior far longer that those that witnessed it.

So, the next time I do something that makes me want to instantly dig a hole and hide in it (and sometimes pull the dirt in after me so I can quietly die a thousand deaths)--I'll try very hard to remember than in ten years, ten months, ten days, or ten minutes, no one will recall those things that I tend to hold onto and berate myself for doing or saying or being.

Like Father David said--Get over it, Christy. (actually, he advised me to be more gentle with myself, but that was the gist of things)

Believe me, I'm trying.