Laughter Road

Saturday, November 26, 2005

on the injured list...

A listing of the myriad ways I managed to injure or almost injure myself during the three and a half days I spent in Arkansas this Thanksgiving:

1. Got terrible motion sickness riding there. This was mainly my brother's fault, because he drives a big SUV like he's in a little sports car, and at 60 miles an hour on windy, hilly roads. I spent the last hour trying not to puke. And the jerk would not let me drive, which is the only thing that cures it.

2. Stuck the side on my right hand full of splinters while watching my dad and brother attempt to hurl themselves off the roof of the cabin in the guise of fixing the loose roof panels. My mother went after those suckers with a needle, tweezers, and gleeful abandon.

3. Broke a candle on the bathroom floor, but didn't realize it until I almost stepped on the pieces bare-footed.

4. ALMOST set the whole place on fire when I was heating water in the kettle for tea. There was food stuck to the eye, so it wasn't really my fault. Big flames, though. (this brought on stories of how, a few years ago, I almost managed to blow up the ENTIRE place, while hosting a bunch of Wesley Foundation kids on a retreat. They kicked open the gas register, house filled with gas, etc.)

5. Burned my index, middle, and ring finger, and part of my palm, when I was trying to take a cake of cornbread out of the oven. Like a well-bred Southern girl, I was using a cast iron skillet, but the potholder I was using to grab the handle was just the tiniest bit damp, and the heat went right through it. Its better today, but I thought I was going to DIE yesterday, it hurt so bad. Now I have blisters on the first two fingers, and have spent much of the last 24 hours holding a frozen water bottle in that hand. Also, I dropped the skillet on the floor and the cornbread went everywhere.

All in all, it was a low-key holiday, but one I would not care to repeat. Now we gear up for Christmas, and try to keep my dad off the ice this year.


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